


There are too many people in the chat

by TeamParkGae



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Crack, They’re all pretty gay, chat fic, just a dumb chat fic, no cliffhangers, no one read this trash, ot18, saveKun2018, so same
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-06-15 14:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15414894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamParkGae/pseuds/TeamParkGae
Summary: A dumb NCT chat fic.I will be updating sporadically but there will be no cliffhangers~I dunno what else to say Bone app the teeth I guess.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is trash :’)

Nipple Clamp Testing - 18 members

 

Eleven: can you guys stop changing my name pls? 

Maqúnae: no, it’s a funny reference 

Eleven: Jisung you don’t even watch stranger things

Maqúnae: I can appreciate quality content when I see it 

Nana nana batman: it could be worse 

Eleven: how could it be worse? 

Omae wa mou shinderu: hi. 

Eleven: Yuta... I’m so sorry 

Oh Daddy: hahahaha that’s fucking brilliant! 

Omae wa mou shinderu: no it’s fucking not. 

Sorry eh: pft Yuta wins for best name in chat 

Omae wa mou shinderu: no I fucking don’t. 

Omae wa mou shinderu: you guys didn’t even spell it right. 

Flipper: o shit u rite 

Flipper changed Nakamoto Yuta’s nickname to Omae wa mou shindeiru 

Flipper: much better ^^ 

Nakamoto Yuta has left the chat 

Robin: add hyung back guys, don’t be mean 

Sorry eh: ok ok Jeno’s right, we’ll change his name 

Mark Lee has added Nakamoto Yuta back to the chat 

Oh Daddy has changed Nakamoto Yuta’s nickname to Hentai 

Hentai: I fucking hate all of you. 

Lose lose: ??? 

Hentai: *most 

Lose lose: <3 

Hentai: <3 <3 

Eleven: how come Yuta gets a name change and I don’t? 

Tae-illest: be quiet before I suggest to the managers that you’d look great with a bald head. 

Eleven: you would never 

Sorry eh: we jus gonna ignore how Win Win sent Yuta a heart?!

Tae-illest: I find your lack of faith disturbing 

Oh Daddy: nice reference 

Tae-illest: thank you my child :* 

Pushy soccer mom: I think the fuck not you trick ass bitch. 

Flipper: mama! 

Maqúnae: Eomma <3 

Nana nana batman: mother 

Sorry eh: seriously?! No one wants to talk about Win Win and Yuta?

Robin: mommieeeeee 

Beyoncé: madre~~

Kylo Renjun: meemaw 

Pushy soccer mom: hi babies 

Kylo Renjun: on the subject of nicknames… can someone explain mine please? 

Jungwoowoo firetruck: it’s a Star Wars reference~ 

Oh daddy: you know Star Wars?! 

Jungwoowoo firetruck: I know of Star Wars~ 

Kylo Renjun: that’s not fair. Everyone else understands their nicknames 

Hentai: ignorance is bliss 

Eleven: pls don’t shave my hair 

Large boi: where’s my hair??? 

Eleven: shit up Lucas 

Large boi: pft shit 

Eleven: ...... 

Sorry eh: GUYS COME ON!!!

Jaenun: my name makes me sound really innocent 

Robin: it’s cos you are innocent :3 

Lose lose: pft 

Robin: All Jaehyuns are queens 

Lose lose: if he breathes he a THOT 

Sorry eh: WHY IS NO ONE LISTENING TO MEEEE?!

Hentai: mark stfu 

Lose lose: mark stfu 

Tae-illest: did they plan that?

Beyoncé: I ship it 

Hentai: ily bby <3 

Lose lose: git fukt 

Oh Daddy: that’s more like it 

Dough young: it’s funny how y’all are bitching bout your names like you got it bad 

Eleven: ??? 

Jaenun: your name is fine 

Kylo Renjun: at least it makes sense to you 

Hentai: and it’s not fucking racist 

Dough young: I’m not talking about mine 

Large boi: I don’t understand 

Flipper: you never do 

Dough young: I’m 99% sure Kun’s still in the chat.... 

Kunt: I just don’t understand what I did to deserve this


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flipper you mad man....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 18 bodies is a lot to keep track of so I’m sorry if I leave some of the members out a little bit hopefully they’ll all get their time :)

Nice Cool Tiddies - 17 members 

Eleven: is anyone gonna tell Lucas that you don’t need to leave the chat every time you go to do something else? 

Jaenun: is anyone gonna tell Ten that you don’t have to start conversations constantly?

Eleven: cold. Y u gotta b so cold? 

Oh Daddy: please stop talking that that. And yeah some one add the idiot back. 

 

Mark Lee has added Wong Lucas to the chat 

 

Large Boi: guys, I’m busy right now! Sorry x

 

Wong Lucas has left the chat 

 

Hentai: ffs just leave him 

Jungwoo woo firetruck: I’ll explain it to him later~

Sorry eh: no don’t 

Jungwoo woo firetruck: ???

Sorry eh: I like the quiet 

Flipper: did someone say quiet? 

Sorry eh: oh god no 

Flipper: JISUNFG GET IN HERE THEY WANT QUIET 

Maqúnae: SHAME 

Flipper: SHAAAAMMMEEE

Jaenun: if y’all want quiet then just block Ten. Boi won’t shut up 

Eleven: LET ME LIVE 

Pushy Soccer mom: leave the boy alone 

Oh Daddy: yeah Jae... leave him alone 

Pushy soccer mom: are you ridiculing me?! 

Oh Daddy: o shit. Uh no I swear 

Pushy soccer mom: u wanna eat tonight? 

Oh Daddy: if it’s u cooking then no. 

Dough young: why can I hear Jonnhy screaming for help? 

Lose lose: don’t ask 

Maqúnae: I’ll telll you when you’re older, son. 

Dough young: SON?! 

Maqúnae: ye you my son 

Dough young: … 

Tae-illest: Jisung, how old are you? 

Maqúnae: 16

Maqúnae: I’m a grandmother 

Flipper: nice reference bro 

Maqúnae: thanks bro 

Flipper: I love you bro 

Maqúnae: bro 

Flipper: bro 

 

Mark Lee has removed Zhong Chenle and Park Jisung from the chat 

 

Sorry eh: that’s better 

Lose lose: pft 

Hentai: pft 

Jaenun: how do they keep doing that? 

Hentai: babe stoooop 

Lose lose: fuck off 

Hentai: but I love you 

Lose lose: istg if you don’t stop 

Hentai: APADO GWAENCHANHA

 

Dong Sicheng has removed Nakamoto Yuta from the chat 

 

Lose lose: that’s better 

Eleven: ice cold 

Lose lose: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Pushy soccer mom: don’t be mean, he just wants you to love him 

Lose lose: ew 

Jaenun: and smooch him 

Pushy soccer mom: easy now 

Oh Daddy: and touch him 

Pushy soccer mom: ok that’s enough 

Dough young: and fuck him 

Pushy soccer mom: DOYOUNG! 

Jaenun: O wow 

Lose lose: I hate all of you. So so much 

Pushy soccer mom: it’s ok sweetie just ignore them 

Eleven: yeah, you do you boo 

Oh Daddy: can you like... maybe consider... not doing that 

Eleven: doing what 

Oh Daddy: what ever the fuck that was 

Eleven: WHY WILL NO ONE LET ME FUCKING LIVE?! 

Pushy soccer mom: please watch your language, there are kids in the chat 

Sorry eh: speaking of... where are my boys at? 

Tae-illest: well two of them are dead 

Lose lose: shame 

Oh Daddy: shame 

Eleven: shame 

Jaenun: shame 

Kunt: shame 

Pushy soccer mom: sarcasm? 

Sorry eh: this won’t do 

Sorry eh: YO DREAM 

Nana nana batman: YO 

Robin: YO 

Beyoncé: YO 

Kylo Renjun: YO 

 

Zhong Chenle added Park Jisung and Zhong Chenle to the chat 

 

Maqúnae: YO 

Flipper: YO 

Eleven: how tf?! 

Lose lose: how did you?

Flipper: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Flipper: a magician never reveals her secrets 

Tae-illest: *his 

Flipper: I know what I said. 

Tae-illest: oh ok ^^ 

Maqúnae: something’s not right 

 

Park Jisung added Nakamoto Yuta to the chat 

 

Maqúnae: that’s better 

Lose lose: how could you?! 

Lose lose: I will kick you from the chat. 

Flipper: will you tho? 

Nana nana batman: I feel so threatened 

Robin: it’s ok, I’ll protect you 

Nana nana batman: ngl that feels worse 

Robin: :(( 

Sorry eh: sorry I just spent the last 5 minutes trying to figure out wtf just happened 

Oh Daddy: same. I jus wanna know how 

Flipper: I ain’t telling you shit 

Pushy soccer mom: Jisung how did he do that?

Maqúnae: sorry mom. I ain’t no snitch. 

Pushy soccer mom: today I lost 2 sons. I will mourn them forever 

Kylo Renjun: I’m just scared bout what else he can hack 

Dough young: why? Are you hiding something? 

Flipper: don’t worry, I’m coming for Yuta’s hentai haven account next 

Hentai: FOR THE LAST TIME I DONT WATCH FUCKING HENTAI

Nana nana batman: that’s what someone who watches hentai would say 

Hentai: no. Jaemin! Not you too

Robin: it’s ok if you watch it, I’m sure it’s great 

Hentai: Sicheng fuckin tell them 

Lose lose: ok 

Hentai: thank you 

Lose lose: last night I caught Yuta watching a cartoon girl getting fucked by a tentacle. 

Hentai: NO YOU FUCKIG DIDINT IM GONNA KILL YOU 

Lose lose: get your cracker hands off me 

Kunt: this is amazing. I should unmute you guys 

Oh Daddy: you muted us? 

Kunt: tell me you haven’t considered it at least once 

Eleven: ye tbf 18 people is a lot 

Kunt: the managers were getting annoyed that my phone wouldn’t stop buzzing 

Tae-illest: I didn’t realise the managers even knew what you looked like...

Kunt: ow. Fucking rude. 

Pushy soccer mom: Oml Taeil! That’s- 

Jaenun: so so cold. 

Jaenun: even by my standards 

Kunt: why does everyone gotta do me dirty like this? I’m trying my best 

Pushy soccer mom: Kun sweetie we love you 

Robin: yeah we do!!! 

Nana nana batman: lots and lots 

Flipper: many lots

Maqúnae: all of the lots 

Sorry eh: we do ^^ 

Sorry eh: Haechan 

Beyoncé: yeah sure 

Kunt: -_- 

Beyoncé: I’m kidding, you’re the best and I love you 

Oh Daddy: feel better? 

Kunt: a little I guess 

Lose lose: Taeil should say sorry 

Tae-illest: I should

Tae-illest: I’m sorry, I love you so much. You’re amazing and talented and what I said was mean. I love you. 

Kunt: I love you too 

 

Kim Jungwoo added Wong Lucas to the chat

 

Large Boi: YEOROBUNS 

Hentai: we were having such a nice moment... 

Jungwoo woo firetruck: oh sorry~ Kunnie I love you :* 

Large Boi: YEAH LOVE FAT KUN

Lose lose: can we just fucking block him? 

Flipper: I can get him arrested for terrorism if you give me a few hours

Pushy soccer mom: CHENLE NO! 

Kunt: do it. 

Flipper: Ok ^^ 

Oh Daddy: Jisung, stop him 

Maqúnae: no way. I won’t double cross my bro 

Sorry eh: I’ll buy you a choco pie 

Hentai: Jesus Christ I’ve never seen that boy move so fast. 

Lose lose: haha it’s like the Dream version of ‘would you do it for a scooby snack?’ 

Pushy soccer mom: oh god what was that bang? 

Pushy soccer mom: why can I hear crying?!

Beyoncé: update- I just watched Chenle get dropkicked square in the chest and I’m fuckig creasing 

Pushy soccer mom: IS HE OK?! 

Jaenun: I just checked on him and it’s uh... he’s crying. A lot. 

Pushy soccer mom: I’m on my way home now. TEN GRAB YOUR SHIT WE’RE LEAVING 

Oh Daddy: it’s ok, I’m with them. Jisung’s said sorry and Chenle has started breathing properly again 

Pushy soccer mom: WHAT?! MARK HOW COULD YOU LET THEM DO THIS 

Sorry eh: I don’t control them... I’m more like a caretaker 

Nana nana batman: hyung it’s ok, I promise. Chenle’s fine. He just got scared. 

Robin: I’m giving him kisses now~ 

Pushy soccer mom: .... I still think I should come home 

Eleven: they’re fine, I just got off the phone wit Johnny. 

Jungwoo woo firetruck: I can go check on them if you like 

Pushy soccer mom: please 

Tae-illest: awwww Chenle looks so cute uwu 

Hentai: I don’t think that’s possible 

Tae-illest: he’s all snuggled up on the couch with blankets and Jisung keeps kissing his head 

Jungwoo woo firetruck: it is very sweet 

Pushy soccer mom: my babies uwu 

Large Boi: ok I’m gonna Yeet feet to the store and get the dreamies some snackaroos... who’s down to clown? 

Oh Daddy: there is not a single part of that sentence that I feel comfortable reading. 

Kunt: can you please stop saying ‘Yeet feet’ it’s called fuckin walking 

Large Boi: well I’m sorry that I can’t speak Korean. 

Hentai: we are literally speaking Korena right now....

Large Boi: whatevs you wouldn’t understand. It’s a Chinese thing. 

Lose lose: it’s really not. 

Large Boi: Renjun back me up! 

Kylo Renjun: I’m sorry but the number you have dialled is not in service at this time. Please check the number and dial again. 

Large Boi: YOU TRAITORS HOW COULD YOU?! 

Jungwoo woo firetruck: come on Lucas, let’s just go ok?~ 

Large Boi: ok ^^ 

Maqúnae: I still get the choco pie right? 

Flipper: can I have a choco pie too please? 

Maqúnae: you can have mine aswell 

Kylo Renjun: when will my bf ever? 

Hentai: bf? Boyfriend? 

Kylo Renjun: NO YOU PERVERT I MEANT BEST FRIEND 

Lose lose: guess he really lives up to his name 

Hentai: ...

Robin: is that what hentai means?! 

Lose lose: yeah.... 

Robin: oh I was misled 

Nana nana batman: what did you think it meant? 

Robin: wel you know how sometimes guys will touch each- you know? Don’t worry 

Oh Daddy: ........ 

Eleven: do we need to have the talk?

Eleven: cos I’m sure Taeyong would love to do that 

Pushy soccer mom: what?! No! 

Flipper: mom. Where do babies come from? 

Pushy soccer mom: please don’t do this to me. You have parents. ask them. 

Flipper: the hell?! I’d rather die then talk to my mom about dicking someone down 

Oh Daddy: where do you even learn these phrases? 

Flipper: places... 

Hentai: Sicheng. 

Lose lose: snitch. 

Hentai: you told them I watch tentacle porn. 

Lose lose: you told me it was a one time thing. I didn’t think you’d care. 

Oh Daddy: wait 

Sorry eh: Wait 

Eleven: WAit 

Pushy soccer mom: WAIt

Jaenun: WAIT 

Kunt: TIAW

Nana nana batman: ʍɐᴉʇ

Robin: ʷᵃᶦᵗ 

Beyoncé: pause 

Maqúnae: halt

Flipper: hold 

Kylo Renjun: cease 

Tae-illest: postpone 

Jungwoo woo firetruck: you did what? 

Large Boi: you. actually. watch. hentai. 

Hentai: no. 

Lose lose: rlly? 

Hentai: FINE! FUCKING SOMETIMES WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?! 

Dough young: ... you realise they only make such a big thing of cos it winds you up right? 

Hentai: it’s none of anyone’s business what porn I watch you’re all trash 

Kunt: ok Boku no Pico calm down. 

Tae-illest: haha 

Hentai: leavme alone 

Large Boi: haha chill out Clannad 

Oh Daddy: lucas no 

Eleven: you can’t just name any random anime 

Large Boi: im not

Lose lose: ... then wtf do you think clannad is? 

Large Boi: it’s a hentai right? 

Kunt: Yuta tell him. 

Hentai: y me? 

Lose lose: you’re Japanese 

Hentai: I’m pretty sure that’s racist. 

Lose lose: I’m pretty sure I don care 

Hentai: I’m leaving the chat 

Flipper: no you’re not 

 

ḫ̴͍̰͛̎̿͆̈́́͆̆̐͆̕ä̴̬̻͕͍̤͍̺̭́͋͗̈́̃̀̄̽͛̆͘̕͝͝ͅs̶̫̊̇̄̕ ̶̨͇̙͔͐̆͆͗̈́͆̈́͆̓̍̅l̴̨͎͙͚͍̫̘͇̞̥͈̠͈̍́̄̃͌̊̋̆̂̚͝ȩ̵̛͓̭̖̰̰̯͈̯̪ḟ̵̧͉̥̝̩̀̆̎̐͛̓̇͒̅͝t̶̳͊̐́͊̆̀̇̽̎́̂̚̚ ̴̝̭͉̮̻̻͖̽̇͊̀̂̍͘t̵̢̠͍̤̻̮̻͉̋̃̍̓͆̒̌̕͝h̵̛̪͎̖̩̦͔̟̤͆̾̽̐̈́͊̇̆̏̽͌̈́͐̐͜ę̷̧̞̠͓̝͓̭͚͉̦̺̋͋͒̋͒̽̎͐͌̐̒́̕͜͝͠ ̷̛̫̮͖͂̈̇̌̄̇̆̔́͝c̷̝̳̩͒̈́̈́͆̀̒̕h̵̖̹̮̎͝ȧ̷̪̟̣̙̗͇̖̰͗̅̊ͅͅt̸̡̙͙̱͚̤͎̱͖̻̃̋͛̄́̃̀͝ 

Nakamoto Yuta h̵̦͌̊̐ả̸̢͉̼̣̦̭͓̺̇̒̔̿͒̔͛͘̕͜͜͝͝ş̶̛̼̘͂̏̈́̇̒̓̉͝ ̵͕͊̈͂͐̔͜͝͠ͅj̵̡̡̧͕̬̤͇͇̆̉̿͊͘͜ö̴͎͔̦́̋͒̅̀̿̈́̉͠ͅi̸͈̩͛͛̉́̃ṅ̸̟̩̝̝̽͒́͛̈̆̾͒́͠ͅē̴̞̤̥͖̪̺̿d̸͈̱̬͖̟̪͍̤͓̱̱̓̈́ ̷̥̹͍̮͖̀́̂̉̿͌̂͂̋͝͝͝ṫ̷̡̛͙͇̤̠͜h̵̨̦̓̓͗͂͗͘̚͝͝é̷̡͇̟͕̫̤̭̀͐̈͂̈̋̎̈̉͗ ̵̢̢̱̜̻̜̠̟͕̐̉̾c̵̢͖̞̳̤̳̞͖̾̉̓͒̏̓̏̈́͒̕͝h̸̨̤̿̀͗̓͐͑̀ą̴̮̤̲̳͖͚̗͎̀͊́͌̚t̶͚̞̦̍͐̄́̽̾̇̅̊

 

Nana nana batman: ok I’m really fucking scared. 

Maqúnae: y’all ever see that movie Unfriended? 

Pushy soccer mom: this isn’t funny anymore boys. Stop it. 

Flipper: I’m not doing anything bad 

Oh Daddy: did you not see what you just did? 

Flipper: I just don’t want anyone to leave. Ever. 

Kunt: Jesus this is terrifying 

Sorry eh: at least you aren’t stuck on a set with him for 14 hours tomorrow. 

Flipper: we’re gonna have fun ^^ 

Eleven: if we all leave at once he can’t stop everyone 

Flipper: .... 

Tae-illest: good idea. Jisung grab your shit we’re leaving 

Maqúnae: no way. 

Oh Daddy: leave him behind. Only the strong shall survive 

Robin: on 3 

Nana nana batman: 1 

Robin: 2 

Kylo Renjun: 3 

L̸̩̬̈́̉͛̂̌͑e̷͕̤̪̪͑̓̓̓͛e̷͈̤̫̠̦̹̘̬̺͈͑̎͑̌͛̌͂͑̈́ ̸̧̛̳͓̼̺͓̓̈́͗͜͝T̷̥̰͇̙͍̼̲͙̀̂́̿̀͒͐̐͠a̶̝͙̿̐̍͝ę̶̨̡̛͕̲̯̙̯͎̪̼̉̒́̏͋̂̉̐͑͐̕ͅy̸̢͍̹̪̭̰͎̋̍̅͋̾̌̇̈̽̉̄ǫ̸̘̙̠̻͎̈́n̴̖͉͎̔̅̄͝͠͝g̶̨͚̖̖̃͜ ̸͙̫̤̟̼̖̗̪̝͎̺̏͋̈́̇͗͋̓̽a̶̢̝̝̻̓͒̇ņ̸̠̦̤͙̦̯̩͔̓̈́͛͛̒̕̕ͅd̷̻̐̽̾̈́͂̑̃̽̕̚̚ ̷͉̘̝̹͎̪̙͂̐̎́͝1̷̢̨̛͖̮̩̬̪̮̫̯́́͐̄͑̉̒̀̌́5̶̛̫͖̰̝̮͋̃̑͌̊͋̍̔͐̚̕ ̶̧͇̭̮̭̪͚̖̞͗̒̌̒̄̾ớ̸̧̪͔̦̤̺̳̥̼̱̟̀̒͠t̶̙͔̻̩̜̠̰͍̫̃̈̈̾̂́̀͜͝͝h̶̢̢͕̬̪͈͎̩̭̳̼̍̽̾̂̑͌̿̋͛̃͘͠ë̵̟̻͈͈̠̖̪͈̫́͂̈̈̈́͒̊͜͜͠͝ͅr̶̭͖̙̩̈́̏͊͆̇́̽͘͝s̵̡̥̤̝͋͛͂͛̄̅̀̎͗̅̈́̇ ̷̢̱̟͚̫̝̮̩́̈́̊͠ḥ̵̯̹͈̤̰̮͊̑̑â̵̧̛̦̻͍̩̖̠̈́͑̄̏̎͠͝͝ṿ̷̛̮͎̫̮͖̳̯̱̓̂̇͋̚͝͠e̴̬̖̦̩̾̒̃̐̾̃͘͝͠ ̶̻͉̮͙̺̥̘͕̼͐͑̔͌̈́̍́͜ͅļ̵̧̤̭̼͚̥͖̯̰̤̤͆̒̓́͒̀͠ḛ̴̞̝͂́͊̍f̴̻̪̗̋̈́̑́̔́̏ṱ̵̛̛̼͗̉̔̀̾̇̄͜͝ͅ ̸̹̭̖̩̥̘͓͙͐͛̒t̴͈̜̮̥̤̀͌͐́̾̋̔̀h̴̨̹̪͒̒̊̈̃̉͜͝e̶̱̺͍͓̰̊̐̋̌̔͂͘ ̵̪͕̽̕c̵̛̛͔̟̜͇͕͑̇̓̈́̈́͋̏͝ḩ̸̙͓̪̘̞̆͌̄̍̀̎̊̽͂̀͋a̵̤̠̹̭̳͆̽̈́̍̓͘t̶̡̖̮͔̝̬͍̟͒͘

 

L̵̝̟̽̀͊͑e̷͚̜͕͓̥̜̰͙̖̭͎͒́̀e̴̘̟̮̣̐̎̀̐̈̐ ̵͇̥̈́̐T̴̯͈̥̰̙́a̶̧͔̱̝̞̘͉̹̙̫̠͚͒̉͌̿̅͑͘͝e̷͈̬̬̟̕y̴̢̲̯̻̗̆͑͌͗̌̾̎̈́̃̚͘o̶̡̡̡̪͖̻̿̋̈͐͘͝n̶̨̜͇͕̞͎̂̀̉͛͐͐̚g̴̩̳͍͉̣͎̦̝͖͠͠ ̷̢̪̜̭̣̜̦͛͆̌̃̾́̌ͅa̵̢̠̪̰͎̘̗̯͖̞̝̞̒̅͊̐̿̀͐̋͗̌͘̕n̵̨̟̦͖̲̠͇̍̑͐͒̉̍̏͐̀̑̕̚ͅd̷͇̥̭̄͋̂̕ ̷̧͈̹̩̝͔͑̓1̶̡̢͎̬͓̮̹̫͉̙̄́͒͊̓̍̅͘5̷̧̛̪̯̯̦̲͉̺̬̏̋̐̀͊͒͒̏̕͝ ̴̺̲̣͇̀̽̅͗͒̓͘͘ͅõ̷̢͉̘̮̭̪̽̀̈́͆͊̀̚͝ͅt̶̟͉̞̝͍̣͎̄͌̓̉͑̉͌h̵̫̠͈̳̍̑̇͌̆̀̌̎̃̏͘͠e̵̡̞̲̥͖̱̮̓͌̈̿͒̚ͅr̴̫͎̭̹͔̰̒̋̌̉̃̊̑̏͝ş̵͍̤̱̪͕̘͙͔̀͊̆͌̂̓͌̾̓͘͝ ̴̢̖̯̙̞̫͓͓̥͉̪̀̈́̕ͅh̷͉̫͍̍̊̂͗͊̕̚a̸̳̠̻̗̪̯̯̳̠͒̐̔̽̄̅̕͠͠v̶̧͖̩̦͕͎͗͗̕̕e̵̜̪͒̀̈̚ ̶̹̄j̷̥͛̈́̀͊ǫ̷̹̦̫̤̲̦͛̂́̓̇į̸͎̫͕̤̩͚͛͛̒͗̀̂̚n̷̥̠̩͈̤̭͙̭̯̈́͛̒͑ė̴̛͙̂̇̉̀̐͑d̸͙̟̰̖̦̘͈̰͔̪̣̘̀̇̐̉̏̉̒́̋͝͝ ̶̤́͊͑͠t̶̢͕̯̯͇̲̣̍̈́̓̀͌̆͒̽̌͘͜͝h̴̡̛̰̞̘̱̭̞̮͓̑̉͆̈́̿͆͂͂̽͠͠ȩ̶͍̟̳̣͖̘̲̓̋͐̍͋̿͋̉̍̈͘̕ ̷̬̾̐̇̉̌́̔͌̓̏͗̓c̸̝̤̪͉̭̘̪͋h̷͕̉̔͘á̵̢̘̮̝̣̬̻̪͍͇̱̀̓̏̓̕ͅt̴̘̪̪̰̲̠̭̺̻̥͍̠̔̈́̈́̎͛͊̌͛̅͑̈́͋

 

Flipper: no one leaves ^^ 

Maqúnae: flipper you mad man


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapters almost as weak as my will to live~

Not Called Ten - 18 members 

 

Eleven: alright which one of you dick heads changed the chat name to that? 

Large Boi: it wasn’t me 

Eleven: so it was you then? 

Large Boi: .... maybe 

Eleven: it’s not even funny 

Large Boi: ye it is 

Kunt: no it’s not 

Large Boi: it is if you’re Chinese 

Kunt: ??? Are you serious? 

Beyoncé: is he ever? 

Jaenun: oh look 

Jaenun: Ten stirring up shit again!

Eleven: I just asked a question! 

Jaenun: I know. It’s problematic. 

Eleven: why are you so mean to me? 

Jaenun: why are you so insistent on constantly starting pointless conversations? 

Nana nana batman: yeah Chatty Cathy, why is that?

Eleven: don’t start on me you little shit. I will kick you from the chat. 

Flipper: no you won’t ^^ 

Robin: i feel like a cyber hostage. Is that a thing?

Oh Daddy: we’re all trapped in the matrix now

Jungwoo woo firetruck: the what? 

Oh Daddy: don’t worry ^^ 

Jungwoo woo firetruck: okay~ 

Pushy soccer mom: what a sweetie 

Large Boi: hey woo

Jungwoo woo firetruck: yes~ 

Large Boi: I love you really much 

Jungwoo woo firetruck: awwww it’s very much but thank you~ 

Hentai: well that was disgustingly wholesome. 

Lose lose: hey Yuta 

Hentai: yes~ 

Lose lose: I hate you really much 

Hentai: that’s much better uwu 

Kylo Renjun: I don’t think their relationship is very healthy 

Lose lose: I don’t think I asked you 

Pushy soccer mom: I don’t think you should speak to my son like that 

Large Boi: I don’t think 

Eleven: we know

Dough young: we know 

Maqúnae: we know

Large Boi: I was gonna continue that thought but you’re all being meen 

Jungwoo woo firetruck: you can dm it to me if you like~ 

Large Boi: okay ^^ 

Dough young: why is he always so nice?

Oh Daddy: because it’s Jungwoo 

Dough young: well that clears things up. Thank you. 

Kunt: Hes just a wholesome bean that’s too good for this world. Leave him alone. 

Dough young: what if I don’t want to? 

Pushy soccer mom: then you will burn with the others 

Beyoncé: there are others? 

Pushy soccer mom: not anymore. 

Nana nana batman: cos that’s not ominous as all shit 

Jaenun: I want a name change. 

Eleven: same 

Oh Daddy: same 

Lose lose: same 

Hentai: same 

Flipper: ok how about we play a game. Haechan picks a number between 1 and 10 if you pick the same number as him then you can have a name change. 

Oh Daddy: seems fair 

Jaenun: in what world is that fair? We can just change them ourselves. 

Flipper: I wanna play the game so we’re playing it. 

Tae-illest: could you not act like the main villain of some horror film for a few minutes? 

Flipper: but it’s fun... I am your god now~

Maqúnae: and I am your deputy god~ 

Eleven: that’s not how gods work but sure go on 

Beyoncé: ok I have a number 

Hentai: you better not change it you little brat. 

Beyoncé: dw I’ll play fair ^^ 

Jaenun: will u tho? 

Beyoncé: probably~ 

Lose lose: that’s as good as we’re ever gonna get. Everyone go on 3 

Lose lose: 3. 

Oh Daddy: 7 

Lose lose: 7 

Hentai: 9 

Jaenun: 2 

Eleven: 10 

Jaenun: who won? 

Flipper: dm me the results

Oh Daddy: what? Why? 

Flipper: plot twist. 

Eleven: oh god 

Flipper: lucas gets to choose the winners name 

Jaenun: why would you do this?

Lose lose: what did we even do? 

Beyoncé: sent~ 

Eleven: I’m so scared rn 

Oh Daddy: same 

 

Wong Lucas changed Dong Sicheng’s nickname to Draw draw 

 

Draw draw: it’s not even funny. 

Oh Daddy: wait if Win Win won then does that mean? 

Kylo Renjun: haha win win won 

 

Wong Lucas changed Seo Youngho’s nickname to Parrot noises

 

Parrot noises: I don’t get it....

Dough young: some where over the rainbow.....

Parrot noises: y’all got any bleach? Ya Boi feeling thirsty. 

Dough young: drink up bitch. Foods expensive, if we lose a few members the company might let us eat more. 

Large Boi: except Kun 

Kunt: LEAVE ME ALONE YOU LITTLE SHIT ALL IVE EVER DONE IS BE NICE TO YOU. JUST YOU WAIT COS THIS GONNA BE SOME 13 REASONS WHY BULLSHIT AND EVERY TAPE WILL BE FOR YOU. 

Large Boi: but I don’t have a cassette player 

Parrot noises: lucas just say sorry and stop being mean to him 

Kunt: why do you hate me? Do you hate me cos you think I’m fat? I just don’t get it. 

Large Boi: I don’t hate you cos you’re fat.... 

Dough young: YOURE FAT COS I HATE YOU

Beyoncé: is that mean girls?! 

Dough young: fuck ye it is! 

Beyoncé: omg yes 

Kunt: well I’m sorry I called you a gap toothed bitch. 

Large Boi: such a good movie! 

Kunt: yesssss 

Large Boi: wanna watch it and eat ice cream 

Kunt: always 

Large Boi: okay! Let’s go! 

Kunt: fuck yeeeee

Dough young: ...

Dough young: it’s fine...

Beyoncé: I’ll just wait here. 

Jaenun: titanic? 

Nana nana batman: is this whole chat just obscure movie references? 

Parrot noises: they’re not obscure you uncultured swine. 

Nana nana batman: I’m sorry that some of us are too busy to sit and watch movies all day. 

Parrot noises: what’s that supposed to mean? 

Nana nana batman: I’m just saying... I saw a firetruck the other day and it only had 7 people in it..... 

Parrot noises: who taught you to be so rude? 

Draw draw: hahahahaha 

Eleven: ? 

Draw draw: I can’t believe you actually said it

Parrot noises: you told him to say that?! 

Draw draw: I might have done 

Parrot noises: CHENLE ANSWER YOUR DMS 

Flipper: o sorry 

Flipper: you may proceed 

Parrot noises: thank you~ 

Tae-illest: whats happening?

 

Seo Youngho changed Dong Sicheng’s nickname to Blank paper 

 

Blank paper: I don’t get it 

Hentai: neither do I 

Dough young: yeah can you expl- oh OH 

Blank paper: ?????

Parrot noises: it’s cos you’ve got no lines~ 

Blank paper: if I could leave the chat and block you I would. 

Flipper: but you can’t ^^ 

Blank paper: can you get out of my life please?

Flipper: you don’t have to be so polite, we’re all friend here~ 

Blank paper: ok then 

Blank paper: can you get out of my life please, cunt? 

Maqúnae: MOM WINWON SAID A BAD WORD 

Pushy soccer mom: SICHENG DONT CALL HIM THAT HES A KID 

Eleven: not tryna justify what he said but the kid is literally holding us all hostage in this group chat 

Kunt: I can’t even mute you guys anymore. Every time I try to my phone glitches out and then my volume goes funny for a few minutes 

Robin: I googled it. It’s a thing. 

Kylo Renjun: what is? 

Robin: cyber hostages 

Flipper: am I breaking the law? 

Sorry eh: you almost got Lucas arrested for terrorism.... 

Jaenun: oh hi mark 

Sorry eh: I did not hit her I did naaaat 

Hentai: I swear the subject in this chat changes more than Taeyongs hair colour 

Blank paper: INTERNAL ORGANS

Dough young: ???

Parrot noises: u ok there buddy? 

Pushy soccer mom: we gonna get any explanation for that? 

Kunt: apparently not.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I’m running out of ideas?

Neo Culture Technology - 17 members 

 

Johnny: ummm.... wtf is going on? 

Taeyong: I don’t understand. 

Sicheng: ok but 

Yuta: what happened to Chenle? 

Jisung: his phone got taken away :(((( 

Lucas: by who? 

Taeil: *by whom? 

Lucas: racist. 

Taeil: idiot. 

Jungwoo: it won’t let me change my name :( 

Jungwoo: I want my old name back :( 

Doyoung: omg no pls don’t be sad 

Chittaphon: I can’t cope with sad Jungwoo 

Jaehyun: omg your name hahahahaha

Chittaphon: what about it? Something funny? 

Jaehyun: why is it so long and weird? 

Jaemin: that’s what she said! 

Jeno: omg I’m creasing 

Taeyong: and how would you know about that? Hmmm? 

Donghyuk: yeah. How would you know? 

Johnny: you’re like 15 Haechan why are you getting involved? 

Donghyuk: actually I’m eleven so shut the fuck up. 

Kun: I love the way the idiot who changed our names is using like half real names and half stage names. 

Jisung: it’s cos they have a complete disregard for continuity. 

Youngho: what do you mean? 

Jisung: I- nvm 

Johnny: ok..... 

Mark: wth happened?   
Renjun: happy birthday Mark!!!

Mark: that was literal weeks ago dude 

Renjun: I know ^^ so when are you graduating? 

Mark: uh 

Chittaphon: jeez don’t hold back or anything....

Renjun: dw I won’t ^^ 

Mark: disrespectful little shit. 

Jeno: but if Marks graduating then who’s gonna be Dream leader 

Renjun: me. 

Jaemin: me. 

Jisung: me. 

Jeno: me. 

Donghyuk: me. 

Chenle: me. 

Taeyong: how tf? 

Chenle: I have returned 

Chittaphon: oh god. 

Kun: no body move. His attack pattern is based on movement. 

Lucas: I dontge tit 

Mark: is everyone just gonna ignore the fact that my ENTIRE UNIT JUST TURNED ON ME 

Renjun: *my unit 

Taeyong: poor Marky :(( do you wanna a cuddle baby? 

Mark: Yeth 

Johnny: look at the little cutie uwu 

Jaehyun: did you just? 

Johnny: and you wouldn’t? Look at how squish and cute he is 

Mark: ^^ 

Jaehyun: yeah tbf 

Jungwoo: HES so CUTE 

Doyoung: you ok there bud? 

Jungwoo: I’m not sure

Mark: do you need cuddles too hyung? 

Jungwoo: Yeth 

Lucas: imonmyfuckinway

Yuta: Jesus leg boi can r u n 

Sicheng: I should have tripped him over 

Taeil: why would you do that?

Sicheng: you ever see them videos of big ass trees getting chopped down? 

Taeil: ye 

Sicheng: you know how fuckin satisfying that shit is? 

Taeil: trip. That. Bitch. 

Jaehyun: film it. 

Sicheng: Aite 

Taeyong: Sicheng no

Sicheng: Sicheng yes. 

Yuta: the whol. Ducking. House. Shook. 

Johnny: ok first of all we live in an apartment you pleb. 

Yuta: ok first of all why don’t you stop picking on my you slut. 

Chittaphon: DONT slut shame my husband. 

Yuta: ok sure. Whatever you say Chiptole. 

 

Chittaphon has left the chat.

 

Yuta: oops? 

Johnny: you bitch. 

Kun: I wanna laugh coz like now y’all know how it feels 

Taeil: Jesus you make it sound like all we do is bully you 

Kun: MY NAME WAS CUNT FOR 6 FUCKING MONTHS 

Jeno: *kunt 

Kun: shut. Your. Dumb dumb bubble gum looking ass the fuck up. 

Jisung: mooooooom kunt said a bad word! 

Taeyong: why am I here? Why do you do this to me? I didn’t ask for this. 

Johnny: Jisung dont call your brother a cunt. 

Jisung: you’re not my dad

Chenle: imma be real with you here bro. That weren’t funny the first time. 

Jisung: well you shouldn’t even be here. The managers still have your phone. 

Doyoung: wait. If the managers still have your phone then how in the ever loving fuck are you in the gc?! 

Chenle: magic. 

Doyoung: don’t be a dickhead. 

Chenle: fine. You know the really really nice janitor? 

Taeyong: Jesus give him his phone back you little thief. 

Chenle: he said I could use it. 

Jaemin: wth did you tell him? 

Chenle: I asked him if he had any games on his phone 

Johnny: give it back to him. Now. 

Chenle: ugh fine. 

Chittaphon: that poor man 

Lucas: smfh 

Jaehyun: who taught you to say that? 

Lucas: woo did ^^ 

Jaehyun: don’t lie 

Jungwoo: he’s not lying 

Taeil: but you don’t swear 

Mark: you’re the only good one 

Jungwoo: swear? When did I swear 

Chittaphon: what do you think smfh stands for? 

Jungwoo: so mad for him.... right? 

Johnny: I’m gonna tell him 

Taeyong: don’t you dare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m beyond the point of apologising. If you think I’m bullying your bias then deal with it :* uwu


End file.
